Been a Long Time....

It's been a long time since I last posted..... about a year. Things are good as far as my husband and things seem to be looking up for us. The reason that my blog was left to be swallowed up in cyberspace was because I had to start working to help make ends meet. My website had to be shut down and I've not had the heart to find another alternative for it.

ArtPrize was a great experience and I loved every moment of it, but it was not a profitable experience. It cost me money but I didn't get anything back in return. My art doesn't instigate commission interest and most people can't afford to buy artwork right now as it is. This year I won't be taking part of ArtPrize again. I'm really missing the experience, but logic outweighs my emotional desire. Not to mention it takes me entirely way too long to draw something to have it ready in time.

Working has been great for the family because instead of going under we are now breaking even, and that is a far more comfortable place to be in. Living in fear of losing electricity or the car is no fun, and I'm glad I can help contribute to the family's needs. Unfortunately it has me feeling quite at a loss with personal satisfaction that only comes through creating conceptual art. I feel like I had to give up my voice to make money. With everything there is a cost. I'm not upset over the choice I made... I really didn't have a choice to make, so how can I be upset over it? But I am missing creating my own art. It hurts to see so many of my artist friends creating beautiful pieces of art and looking at my own art hanging on my walls. I wish I could do it too. I keep on telling myself that it is only for a season.... Some day I will be able to draw and paint again for myself. Some days I believe it, and then other days I fear I won't be able to.

This blog post isn't a pity party posting though. It's just to let you know what I have been up to. Maybe for the rest of the day I will work on something artistic as I'm taking the day off. That will probably make me feel better. :) Especially in light of the fact that my husband has his next scan in just 2 weeks and we are very scared. It's been a year since his last scan.... Yeah, you probably have figured out that focusing has been hard with this knowledge. We are hoping and praying that all is clear, and believing that God is holding us.....